


Changes

by huffellepuff



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 10:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5782663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huffellepuff/pseuds/huffellepuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little fic focused on Amy's POV during "New Captain" (ep. 301).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote it, reread it a couple times, decided what the hell post it because no betas were available. So, hopefully there aren't too many mistakes. :)
> 
> All but like...seven lines of dialogue are directly from the episode.

Over the course of just about a day, Amy’s life seemed to go from “normal if a little awkward” to “completely flipped upside down.” Holt was _leaving_ the nine-nine, she and Jake had kissed _for reals_ (at least with the first two kisses, there was plausible deniability over the intent), and their new captain had met them, yelled at them, and _had a heart attack_. And the vast majority of that happened in the past three hours. It was a lot to take in.  
  
There was nothing she could do about the new captain, her initial ideas on how to get Holt back were admittedly ridiculous, so she chose to think about where things might go with Jake. If she were honest, this was not the first time she had thought about this. Over the last year, she had thought about it _a lot_ , but it was all theoretical. She hadn’t actually considered leaving Teddy either time Jake told her he liked her, but obviously she hadn’t been subtle about how his confessions affected her. And by the time she did break up with Teddy, Jake seemed to have moved on. So though she thought about it, she always told herself it wasn’t going to happen, it wasn’t worth the risk, and it wouldn’t work out anyway. But then it became obvious that Jake was still into her, and as much as she tried to deny it, the feeling was mutual. Her carefully and intentionally constructed walls came down, and now...they crossed that safe boundary and there were possibilities. Exciting and terrifying possibilities.  
  
Amy knew that there was no going back from what happened. She had kissed Jake Peralta, and she had liked it. A lot. In fact, she would very much like to do it again. But that voice she had made herself listen to for so long was still there, telling her that everything would change and it would be a disaster. Thankfully, it wasn’t very long before she got to talk to Jake about what had happened. And the end result was a simple, easy to follow plan that Amy regretted making almost as soon as it was set.  
  
Light and breezy? Since when had Amy been “light and breezy” about _anything_ in her life, let alone something as serious as a relationship with a colleague? She had already lost her cool before she even left the copy room, flinging her papers when Terry had knocked on the window. Light and breezy was damn near impossible for her, even with the rules. Keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the precinct might be difficult, but she was definitely in favor of keeping people out of their business for as long as possible. Not putting labels on it was… uncomfortable, mostly because she really _liked_ labels and for things to fit neatly in their respective boxes. Of course, this...whatever they had wouldn’t fit neatly anyway, so she could accept that for now. But then there was the no sex thing. Logically, she knew that making that rule was a good idea. Sex always added a new dynamic to a relationship, and in the precarious place they were, it would probably make things even more complicated. And yet… she kind of wished she hadn’t been so hasty in saying that, because she was positive that she wanted him (and had been thinking about it for awhile), and she kind of just killed her opportunity for the time being.  
  
All that said, at least it gave them some kind of framework. They liked each other (and oh god, it had felt good to hear it and to say it out loud, to finally be on the same page), they had a date tonight, and things were moving forward. That is what mattered. For the rest of the day, she just tried to relax, get her work done, and enjoy the little moments. She got butterflies when he looked up and smiled at her and felt confident in their plan when he successfully deflected Charles (and pleased when she heard what restaurant he was looking at, so much for Mr. “Proud of the Cheapest Date Possible”).

  


\------

  


Amy met Jake at the restaurant at 8 o’clock, noting happily that he was actually on time. The date seemed to start off well enough; they chatted pleasantly if a little awkwardly while waiting to be seated, he pulled the chair out for her at the table… and then things seemed to go downhill.  
  
“So… here we are. Officially on a date,” he said, nodding a little excessively. “Romantical date.”  
  
“Yes we are. No longer just colleagues. _Dating_ ,” she replied, overcome by the awkwardness of the situation. They spent almost every day together and never ran out of things to talk about, but somehow now it was all so _weird_. Desperate for something to say, she continued, “You… got a haircut. It looks nice.”  
  
“Oh, thanks. You also got a haircut,” he said. She hadn’t. Seeing her face, he quickly added “...at some point in your life, I’m sure, that’s not your baby hair, that’d be crazy. But uh… yeah, you look very nice.”  
  
“Domo arigato,” she said, instantly regretting her words.  
  
“Do you speak Japanese?” he asked, looking slightly pained and confused.  
  
“No...” She looked down and wanted to kick herself for being so ridiculous. Domo arigato?!  
  
“Uhh. Sorry, I think... I’m feeling a little awkward,” he said.  
  
“Yeah, me too,” she said, relieved that he brought it up.  
  
“How do we make it not weird?” he asked.  
  
Now, Amy tried to tell herself that everything that happened next was totally unintentional. That suggesting that they get super drunk was just about breaking the ice, and nothing else. But really… she knew what she was doing. And when Jake ordered four drinks, a decision was made. Things felt very forced and false, and part of that had to be because they had set these awkward restrictions. So, four-drink-Amy would take her place at the table, and anything that happened after that point could not be blamed on sober-Amy. (Except that it totally could.)  
  
Either way, when she was somewhat sobered up and lying next to Jake a few hours later, she did not find herself regretting the drinks. She had thought about sex with Jake more often than she was willing to admit, but she really hadn’t imagined it would be anything like it was. He was good, like… really good. And _they_ were good together, oh my _god_. He made her feel more confident and sexy than she ever had, even after the effects of the alcohol had begun to fade.  
  
“So… we broke a rule,” Jake said.  
  
“Yeah,” Amy said, looking at the man next to her and feeling something like contentment, “I hope it wasn’t a mistake.”  
  
“Hope It Wasn’t A Mistake, title of your sex tape!” he blurted, before gasping in realization. “Title of _our_ sex tape!”  
  
She grinned at the ridiculous look on his face, and turned her body towards him.  
  
“Well, how about we get started on the as of yet unnamed sequel,” she said, kissing him through her laughter.

  


\------

  


Amy returned to her apartment before work that morning to change, and went to work a little earlier than usual to make sure she got there before Jake. This seemed to be an especially good idea because, mere moments after he arrived, Charles came over to press Jake for details on his date with “the floozy.” Amy watched him as he responded, and couldn’t help but smile as he described their evening. Of course, the panic began to set in when Charles called them (not knowing it was _them_ ) on having sex, and then brought her into the discussion. She may have faltered a little bit in response to Charles’ weird apology, but at least she could be proud of herself for managing to turn her knee-jerk comeback to Rosa into something passable.  
  
As Jake talked to Dozerman in his office, Amy couldn’t help but feel a little bit giddy. This whole sneaking around, rule-breaking thing was actually kind of exciting - at least, it was with Jake. She couldn’t remember ever being quite so happy about the start of a relationship (or whatever), so much so that she had to work to restrain a grin. And the fact that they had successfully deceived a room full of detectives just now? Icing on the already delicious cake. Reflecting on her doubts from the day before, she wondered how she could have catastrophized things so badly. And if the message - er, Dozer blast - they had all just received was any indication, Jake had managed to get any further discussion about their relationship banned. Things were going unbelievably well.  


  


\------

  


When Jake met her in the evidence lock up about half an hour later, she was feeling somewhat invincible. She had the confidence to shut down Jake’s protests to breaking the “no making out at work” rule because, you know what? She really wanted to make out with him at work. For once, she didn’t think about the consequences of her actions and it was wonderful.  
  
...at least up until Captain Dozerman walked in on them and proceeded to have a heart attack. It wasn’t bad enough that they were caught and yelled at by their new captain, but he had to go and die?! She couldn’t bring herself to look at Jake throughout the whole process of being yelled at, calling for help, waiting for the EMTs, and waiting for the coroner. Decades of following the rules had worked out for her, what made her think breaking them would be a good idea? Hardly more than twelve hours in and she killed a man. As she was beating herself up, Terry confronted her and Jake.  
  
“What happened in there?” he asked.  
  
“Nothing! We were just working! Separately!” Jake blurted, as Amy frantically tried to figure out what to say next.  
  
“Yeah! And then Dozerman just came in and died!” she said, hoping her voice didn’t completely give her away.  
  
“Peacefully… like an old cat.” She nodded at Jake’s addition.  
  
“Can you think of anything that may have caused Dozerman to be startled?” Terry asked, clearly confused by the situation.  
  
Amy did her best to come up with a cover story.  
  
“...Nope. Um. He might have been startled by how far apart we were standing.” She couldn’t believe that those words just left her mouth. Why was she such a bad liar?  
  
“That seems unlikely...” Terry started, “but obviously he had a ton of health problems, so… this seems pretty open and shut. Do me a favor and pull the surveillance tapes.”  
  
Oh. Shit.  
  
“Right. The surveillance tapes,” Jake said, turning to Amy.  
  
“Yep.” How could they have forgotten about the surveillance? “Because this is a police precinct!”  
  
“You two have something to tell me,” Terry asked - or told them, rather.  
  
Amy looked at the ground, mortified even more by the situation they had gotten themselves into.  
  
“Alright, fine. Detective Santiago and I may have been in there… snorking,” Jake replied, causing her to cringe with the last word.  
  
“YES!” Charles suddenly yelled, startling her. “Ohhhh. Wait, what about the gym floozy? Amy was the gym floozy! The gym floozy was under my nose the whole time. Oh, I am over the moon.”  
  
“Okay…” she said as Charles hugged them.  
  
“Over the moon,” he repeated, finally letting them go.  
  
“Alright...”  
  
“So, what is this? Casual? Serious? I need to know how to make fun of you. You guys dating?” Rosa asked.  
  
“Yes.” Amy answered as she heard a simultaneous “no” from Jake.  
  
“Well that’s not good,” Rosa said.  
  
Amy looked at Jake, feeling her heart drop to her stomach. No?  
  
“I mean yes! I just said no because of the rules, we said we weren’t gonna tell anyone,” he said quickly.  
  
“It’s very new, and we’re still figuring it out,” Amy said, alarmed by how much she felt in that single, fearful moment he had said no. They had only been dating for a day, and she was already _that_ attached.  
  
“Enough!” Terry nearly shouted. “Look, Terry loves love. But Terry also loves maintaining a professional work environment. As your commanding officer, I am very disappointed in both of you.”  
  
Amy could only look at the ground. Everyone knew, a captain had died, and Terry was _disappointed_ in them. She could hardly process the moment of horror at hearing that Rosa and Charles were going to look at the surveillance tapes, before she went back to her shame spiral. Without looking at Jake, she turned to go outside for a smoke break. If there was ever an appropriate time, this was it.  
  
She couldn’t believe how quickly things had gone from being so incredible to being so impossibly terrible. And she blamed herself - she was the one who suggested alcohol last night and making out today, after all. She said no to the rules, and she was paying for it. Even with the rules, though, the situation was unnerving. The pain she felt when Jake had said they weren’t dating… that was based on a single day of trying this out. Imagine if they dated for months, how horrible would the end of that relationship be? She appreciated her friendship and working relationship with Jake more than almost any others in her life, and it was already at great risk. There would be no coming back from a break up if things went any further than they were now. Amy had to end it.  


  


\------

  


Once some of the chaos inside had calmed down, they met in the break room.  
  
“Hey, so!” Jake greeted her, the optimism on his face breaking Amy’s heart. “Everybody knows about us now, which means all the rules have been broken, and nothing bad happened!”  
  
“Nothing bad happened? Terry yelled at us! And we killed our captain,” she replied, somewhat annoyed that he was trying to play down those rather significant events. “Jake… is this a bad idea? Seems like the universe is sending us a lot of signs that we should hit the brakes. It hasn’t exactly been light and breezy.”  
  
“Yeah… it’s been a little more stressful and deathy,” he tried to joke.  
  
“You have to admit it hasn’t started out great.” She was determined. They had to end things, before it got worse.  
  
“What do you want to do then? Go back to being colleagues?” he asked, his expression suggesting that it was an absurd idea.  
  
“Yeah. Maybe that’s what it needs to be right now,” she forced herself to say.  
  
“Okay.” The pain she saw on his face hurt her more than she had expected.  
  
“Okay,” she said, trying to control herself. “Sorry.”  
  
She walked out of the break room as briskly as she could, hoping he didn’t see the tears beginning to well in her eyes.

  


\------

  


That night, Amy tried to find comfort in her routine at home, but she couldn’t stop thinking about everything that had happened in the last couple of days. She felt adrift at work due to the captain shake-ups alone, but now things were going to be weird because of what happened with Jake - not only at work, but in her personal life. For so long she had thought about what being with him would be like, and for a few hours she had it and it was so much better than anything she had imagined. It just felt...right. And then she lost it and work was a bigger mess than ever.  
  
Maybe she should talk to someone. Verbal processing might help shake some of this out of her head, at least enough for her to get some sleep. She considered calling Kylie, but she was never very understanding about how much Holt meant to her. Her parents certainly weren’t the right people to reveal tentative relationship information to, and neither were her brothers (the years of “I’ll kick his ass if he hurts you” always lived in the back of her mind). Really… she just wanted to talk to Jake. Even if this situation hadn’t been about him, she would want to talk to him. Somehow, he had become that person for her.  
  
She was terrified to take a risk and go all in with Jake. After all, their risks hadn’t panned out terribly well so far. The possibility that things wouldn’t work out, that their friendship would be ruined… it was horrible to consider. But so was the idea of living like this - walking on eggshells around each other, knowing what they’re missing - was just about as horrible, and was a far more definite scenario. Because maybe… maybe she and Jake _wouldn’t_ break up. If they laid all of their cards on the table now and really went for it, it could be something amazing. If they gave up here, that possibility was gone.  
  
It was time to go see Jake.

  


\------

  


Amy stood outside Jake’s door, going over her speech in her head, when suddenly it opened.  
  
“Ahh!” Jake yelled, clearly surprised by her standing there.  
  
“Sorry!” she said, an involuntary smile growing on her face at the site of him.  
  
“That’s okay…” he replied, seemingly unsure but happy about the situation.  
  
“I was home, and I really wanted to talk to someone about… us, and about Dozerman, and about Holt being gone, and then I realized that the only person I want to talk about that stuff with is you,” she said. Seeing the look of hope on his face, she took the final plunge. “So… screw just being colleagues, screw light and breezy… right?”  
  
He let out a sigh and smiled back at her, making her heart beat a little faster.  
  
“Definitely,” he said.  
  
She was overwhelmed with relief and joy. The way he looked at her… well, she thought she could handle most anything, as long as he kept looking at her like that.  
  
“Guys, we did it. Really did it,” Charles said, appearing out of nowhere and placing his hands on their shoulders.  
  
“Oh! Charles is here,” Amy was caught off guard by his sudden appearance, but not exactly surprised as his presence.  
  
“Big time.” Jake nodded. “But now it’s time for him to go.”  
  
“I’m just so proud of you both,” Charles said, voice unsteady from almost crying. “Now I’ll leave you crazy kids alone. Just make sure to practice safe sex - or don’t! I think I’m ready to be a godfath-”  
  
“Goodbye, Charles.” Jake cut him off, pushing him out the door and closing it quickly. He turned back to Amy. “Sorry about that.”  
  
“It’s alright,” she said with a laugh. “I honestly should have expected as much.”  
  
“It’s just not my love life without Charles being overly involved,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Now, where were we before that interruption…”  
  
“Just getting started,” she said, pulling him close for a kiss.  
  
This, she thought, was definitely the right choice.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, I can be found at amaliabalash.tumblr.com :)


End file.
